I Play Guitar for Matchbox 20

     I used to work downtown in Chicago and would take the train back and forth. If you haven’t ridden a train into the city you probably aren’t familiar with the protocol. So I will educate you.

     First, you pick an empty seat when possible. Sitting next to someone on the train, unless absolutely necessary, is just creepy and weird. Although there are more people in large cities it has the adverse effect in that most often you know less people than a small town person might know. Small town people want to know one another. City people, most of the time, do not want to know one another. There are people that will continue to walk from train car to train car just to see if there is an empty seat. It is simple train etiquette.

     Second, you don’t look at people as you walk by them on the train. It is best to think everyone is in their own world. I used to call the three-foot circle around me the danger zone. Thanks Top Gun. Again, it’s creepy to look at people. Up there with Hannibal Lector.

     Third, if you absolutely, most positively, must sit next to someone, you don’t talk. People may say hello, do a head nod, or most likely just a polite smile. Passengers tend to read on the train, whether a book, nook, kindle, iPad, newspaper, magazine, computer, cell phone, whatever. They may also just sit and listen to music on their iPod. They may sleep or rest their eyes. But conversation is just too far past the norm.

     One day on my way home a young lady sat next to me. Honestly, I don’t remember what she looks like. Couldn’t even tell you what she was wearing. Made that much of an impression. Not saying she wasn’t someone to remember, I just didn’t care enough to attempt to remember. As I was staring out the window my tactic was to leave my computer bag on the seat next to me so people would take another seat and use me as a last resort. She asked to sit there. I moved the bag while holding my gaze out the window. Then she made the fatal error. She said the doomed phrase.

“What did you do downtown today?”

I slowly moved my head and looked at her. I probably sat there silent for a few seconds, but what felt like hours, because of the pure shock that someone said something to me. I could hear whispers around me as if the girl wore the scarlet letter just for opening her mouth in front of people.

“Well, I was working,” I replied.

“What do you do for work?” she persisted.

At that point, I figured if we were going to keep this going I was going to entertain myself as much as I was going to entertain her.

I proceeded to tell her how I was the lead guitarist for Matchbox 20 and was recording our new album at a famous studio downtown. I continued on that my family lived out in the suburbs (the only truth to this story) and that I was heading out there to have dinner with them before I came back into the city to finish recording. Our new album would be out in the fall and it was going to be landmark.

As I heard the Oak Forest exit I stood up, said excuse me, and walked on towards the door. As I walked down the aisle, gullible girl said to have a great dinner. I waved and walked out the door.

I never saw this person again. The ironic thing is that Matchbox 20 was apparently working on an album at that time. And it released that fall. Some person out there was telling her friends how she met their lead guitarist, most likely bought that album (it was fine, but not their best), and has the story of a lifetime. Although when she saw the picture of the guys on the album, I would imagine she realized I wasn’t in the band.

There are some morals to the story.

First, talk to people on the train. You can’t make a mark in this life or make a difference if you don’t talk to people. You may not start with what were you doing downtown, but interacting with people shouldn’t be discouraged. There are of course times where discretion and thought should go through your mind before you start an interaction, but nonetheless, enjoy humanity. You can learn a lot from situations that weren’t anything more than sitting with someone you don’t know.

Secondly, I realized I was a born storyteller, but that can also be used for evil. Without ever telling the person it was a joke and a funny story (I have a snobby sense of humor) it was ultimately a lie. And as harmless as it may seem, everything starts small. Even sin. I have plenty of stories that I’ve told as a joke at someone else’s expense, but I haven’t done that in a long time. It’s easier to pull out a weed when it’s small than to wait until its roots are deep in the foundation.

Next stop, Tinley Park.

Off the Grid on Vacation

           We recently took vacation. It fell on our seven-year anniversary and concluded a packed six weeks of events. We started with rehearsals for Easter, Men’s Conference 2011 and its rehearsal, more Easter rehearsals, District Council, Easter Dress Rehearsal, Easter Express, Easter, Easter clean up, Women’s Rally, choir loft clean up, and graduations for CBC, EU, and Ozark High School. As well as it has been non-stop from last year’s women’s conference in October, through Christmas, up until the six weeks packed with events. I don’t complain about the work or dislike it. I’m a workaholic and am not afraid of work. This is what I signed up for and love it.

     This time I took my vacation a little differently though. I did my due diligence in making sure that everything I could thinking of, imagine, or come up with was discussed, delegated, and taken care of. I then e-mailed those that I work for and lined out what was taken care of and concluded my e-mail that I would be turning off my e-mail, ringer, and vibrate function on my phone. I also left it upside down on my nightstand so I wouldn’t see any pop-ups, even in my peripheral (thanks Brian Regan). Lastly, I explained I wouldn’t be on Twitter, Facebook, or blogging either.

     I had the best and most relaxing vacation ever. And it took completely cutting myself off from all outside interaction.

            Cell phones are an addiction. I will admit I felt in my pocket for my phone at the beginning of my vacation. It’s a fun device to mess with while bored waiting for nothing. But this allowed me to focus completely and totally on my wife and daughter. To work the hours it takes and have a good home front I felt this was necessary. I told our families the best way to contact us so we weren’t completely cut off in case of emergency.

     During the vacation I was able to watch my daughter transition from the army crawl to the full crawl. I was able to watch her learn how to pity/sympathy laugh. She now consistently can say Dad or Dada, the dog, one of the cat’s names (Hunter pronounced huntor/unter and Dexter pronounced deter) and other words. She babbles in conversation with me. She babbles in conversation with herself. We went on family walks, watched movies, went places together, and enjoyed one another's company.

     I was able to read 3.5 books as well. Finished Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, and read BabyWise II, Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom, and Ford County by John Grisham.

     On your next vacation I dare you to completely unplug and enjoy your family. No one will care if they miss your constant social network updates and pictures. And if you feel like it is completely necessary you can do it your first day back to the online civilization. You will have the most refreshing time away that you can’t fathom. And your family will enjoy being with you as well. You might owe it to them.

Anything Your Kid Can Do...

     …Someone else’s can do better.

     If you haven't seen the Brian Regan sketch on “Me Monster” then click the word "Me Monster" and watch it. A “Me Monster” is someone that can hear any story and one up you. For example, I might tell someone about the time I had dessert with Brian Houston at Hillsong. Then “Me Monster” would pipe up with how they didn’t just have dessert with him, but went golfing with him afterwards, carried his clubs, and hit a hole-in-one on hole nine, which was a par 5 hole. To note, I have no clue if Brian Houston even golf’s.

     When I became a dad, people would ask about what milestone Frankie was at. If she was crawling, talking, drooling, walking, had teeth, making model airplanes, solving world hunger, operating brain surgery, etc. What I didn’t know was that having a child was an unannounced competition.

One example is people would ask how much Frankie weighs to which I would reply with her current weight. But every once in a while someone would then tell me how their kid weighed that much in the first trimester, was born with three teeth, studying advanced quantum physics by three months, corrected Einstein’s theory of relativity at four months, and is fluent in English, Latin, Hebrew, and Arabic by six months.

After I was astounded with their child’s progression in life I began to wonder what was going on. Especially when I realized this was more common then I thought it should be. There can’t be that many children in this world who are walking at three weeks old and getting their doctorate in linguistic studies by nine months.

No longer was competition just at work, home, or school, but with our kids as well. I’ll be honest; I’m not a huge fan. I am not worried or concerned with how my child compares to yours. Kids are just as different from one another in a family, let alone in our whole world. If your kid picks its nose and eats the bugger before mine, then God bless you and that salty treat.

Some might say, wow, your kid must not be progressing as well as she should be. Wrong. She is doing far better then I could hope or dream; I just don’t care about competing because it’s not healthy for the kids. No matter what my child’s progress is, I think they are beautifully and wonderfully made and I won’t be dismayed, my dear friend. That last line is inspired from Pigeon John and the book of Psalms, if you wondered.

I've Lost My Cell Phone

       Cell phones can do almost anything. I am still looking for the app that washes my car, mows my lawn, or gives me the ability to hear people’s thoughts. What? You haven’t wanted the app to hear people’s thoughts? It would make my communication so much better. So many times I think I have said something and realize I only thought it and never said it out loud. Dolphins one up us in that field.

     I remember when cell phones were used only for phone calls. I bought my first cell phone during my freshman year of college. When I was in High School very few people had cell phones. Now kids in elementary school have iPhones. At our life group, a couples one and a half year old knows how to unlock her parents iPhone and scroll for apps. Amazing if you ask me.

           The problem with our cell phones being a computer in our pocket is we now use it for everything. Well, almost everything. I use it for note taking, sending e-mails, sending text messages, making phone calls, running my calendar, playing games, using the Internet, taking pictures, and a plethora of other apps that make life easier or entertaining.

     This is great until you lose your phone. Has this ever happened to you? You set your phone down to do something, move on, and forget that you set down your left side of the brain.

     One day, I am working at my desk talking with a fellow worker. While we’re talking we realize we need to plan a meeting with other people, so I look for my calendar to find a time that works. I live by the calendar on my phone. I couldn’t find my phone anywhere. Not in my pocket, not in my coat pocket, not on my desk, not on the ground. It was not in my chair, thinking it slipped out of my pocket. Walked down to my car, and it was not there either. I even checked other locations that I worked at around the building.

            Suddenly to my dismay, I feel warmth on my face; I am talking to this person on my phone. My calendar has been pressed to my ear for the last 10 minutes of my search.

     At that moment I realize my life, which I thought was simple, was far too complicated.

     I’d like to say that has been the only time I’ve done that, but it’s not.